RICKY MARTIN ROCKS

Ricky Martin is apparently the father of twin boys. Unmarried, ungirflriended Ricky Martin. Turns out he decided to rock the ol' rent a uterus and had a surrogate mother deliver him a pair of sons. The AP reports: "The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," said the statement. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

A representative said there was no further information on the details of the children's birth. Ricky Martin, much like Clay Aiken, has been constantly plagued by rumors that he's gay. And, much like Clay Aiken, he chose the absolute worst possible route to dispel those rumors. What did these two sit in a room together and spitball ideas on how to look straight? RICKY: We could maybe make love to the strippers, no? CLAY: I dunno if that'll work, Ricky... RICKY: How 'bout if we impregnate a woman? CLAY: Wait... that's it. We'll impregnate women! But without touching their vaginas. My God, it's perfect. RICKY: Why would we not touch the vagina? What's wrong with vagina? CLAY: Christ, man, have you ever see one before? I hear they not only have teeth but can see into a man's soul. RICKY: I'll get the test tubes.